ENGLISH SIGNS

What I meant to say was....

SEEN IN A LAUDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

SEEN IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

SEEN IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

SEEN IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

SEEN OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read this, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

SIGN ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)